Our Deepest Fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear in that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel unsure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
As we let our own Light shine,
we consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."

 -Marianne Williamson 

“Our deepest fear”

Something that I have known for years is that I am meant to be seen by the masses.  I am meant to be front and center and BE the message for so many.  I don’t know exactly what that looks like but I have had many visions of me on stage in front of a huge crowd.  Public speaking, yes.  Advocacy for entheogenics, yes.  Music, maybe?  But one thing I know for sure is my voice is meant to be heard.

I’ve come a long way from the quiet little boy, sitting in the corner, invisible to most.  Through experiences in the amazing Spiritual Community in which I reside, I have become comfortable speaking, singing and being, fully, authentically me in all my glory, in all God’s glory.  I am fully stepping into my role as a Leader.  But yet, still camera shy and nervous to put the same me out to the world on Social Media, knowing well that Social Media is a super powerful tool provided for us to utilize.  It is the most effective tool for me to reach the masses, now.

Through experiences, over and over again, God has shown me just how well received I am by most, and to not be bothered by those who can not receive me.  I am finally loving my voice and using it amongst many that I am meeting in person, those whom I once looked up to on social media.  

I sat in ceremony with a small group of friends recently and one of my intentions was to fully overcome the fear of public speaking and embody the Man I came here to be, fully putting myself out to the world.  During that ceremony I had a few amazing experiences that completely fulfilled this intention.

I had the experiences I was meant to have in my own little bubble, astral traveling, but then came back to our little community of friends, around the Sacred fire, where there was a brother sharing his sweet medicine in the form of Drumming his Drums along with the music.  This very talented Brother made his monumental contribution to the ceremony and everyone within it, he was completely in flow state and I joined him there.  A moment arose that I was able to connect and speak to this brother, expressing gratitude for his drumming, but a message was coming through for him, so I grounded in and delivered a beautiful message, directly from God, about how he IS the medicine and his music is the conduit to deliver it.  The message was well received by the brother and he expressed extreme gratitude to receive, proceeding to tell me a story about “who drums for the drummer,” stating that I had just drummed for the drummer.  That statement resonated so I expressed that I too often deliver my medicine but don’t often receive it back.  At that very moment, he felt called to read me the writing of Marianne Williamson above, which was the exact medicine I needed to hear with my intentions of the ceremony and current experiences in my journey.  

A little later, we returned to music.  I was dancing and belting out all my favorite songs for me, for everyone in ceremony, for the astral realm, for the Divine and for God.  My dance, or my “flow” is energy work, in that I am grounded in with solid feet, my body as the tree of life, and my arms/hands, the branches, weaving, balancing and transmuting energies.  I was definitely in my flow state, doing what I do.  In that space, my body, my energy felt one with the Universe, my energetic body so clean I felt clear and transparent, absolutely at one with universal energy.  It felt amazing, but in that moment, it occurred to me that I do not want to be invisible, I want to be SEEN!  With that thought, I came right back into my body, bringing with me a huge shift in my desired intention, to be seen by the masses. 

Who am I not to be?

Integration in progress.